Bangalore News Flash! White Women Are Stealing Indian Men!

I love those lyrics from Can You Feel It by The Jacksons when Michael sings “All the colors of the world should be, Lovin’ each other wholeheartedly.”  Sure, you and I have our differences, but that’s what makes life interesting and fun and truly wonderful.  For me, I think the world would be terribly boring if I was surrounded ONLY by people who were just like me, looked like me, thought like me, felt the exact same way about life as I do.  Where’s the spark and the challenge and the fun in that?  Don’t get me wrong, I know some people prefer a quiet and simple life but … not me.

In January, I fell head over heels for the most amazing Indian man you can imagine.  Tall, dark, handsome, smart, caring, sweet, ambitous and fun {I could go on…}.  Around the first week of February I wrote my very first article about my love life in India titled ‘Reflections from a White Woman on Dating An Indian Man’ and a funny thing happened.  All of a sudden instead of people coming onto my blog for information on the FRRO in Bangalore, IPL Cheerleaders, Sunday Brunch or what it’s like for an expat in India, the major single ‘theme’ to the keywords used in Google and Bing shifted.  And what did it shift to?  Indians and either their curiosity or fascination or distaste surrounding relationships with whites.

Out of 186 articles on my blog, the most popular ones on a daily basis are the two I’ve written about my feelings and real life experiences about being in a relationship with an Indian man.  Not because they are awesome, wonderful articles or anything of that sort.  They are popular because Indians search online for information about ‘Indians and Whites’ and they just happen to find them.  This in itself I personally find truly fascinating because I’m from Los Angeles and there you have people from every corner of the globe who are 1st, 2nd, or 19th generation Americans – so people are just PEOPLE.  At least to me.

This morning alone here are a few of the EXACT search terms used in Google to find the article I wrote about my sweet and fabulous guy (totally unedited, I just copied them directly from my stats):

  • do white girls like indian guys
  • is it wrong for an indian girl to marry a blonde guy
  • white women are taking our indian men
  • indian men white women
  • white women like indian men
  • white women don’t date indian men
  • do indian men not get sex with white women
  • do indian men generally like whites

angela-carson-bangalore-blog-white-woman-indian-man-dating-love I understand the interest in searching for information on a general level and I’m happy that people read my articles because at the end of the day I’d like to think that they open up ideas and shine a new and positive light on the subjects … but the search term that ‘got my goat’ today and inspired this post is ‘white women are taking our indian men’ because that kind of thinking just annoys me.

My Mom taught me that everyone is equal.  That no one is better than another.  And that skin colour is just that, colour.  It doesn’t define us – and it shouldn’t work in our favour or against us ever.  Yet here in India fair skin is favoured over dark skin — and something as random and completely uncontrollable as skin tone seems more valued by some Indians than attributes like how giving that person is, or compassionate, or smart or talented.  That – in my humble opinion – is simply wrong.

Yet the funny thing is that even though fair skin seems more appreciated than dark skin, that white skin on a foreigner seems to be the worst of all because it is generally taught that Indians marry Indians — so I suppose us white girls must look a bit like the devil to Indian moms.  But would it really be so awful that an Indian man loves a white woman and she loves him?

angela-carson-bangalore-blog-white-woman-indian-man-dating-relationship-love I think that everyone can agree that there is no exact recipe for a happy marriage or relationship.  A good match by Indian standards may look good on paper but that doesn’t mean the couple will be HAPPY.  The exact same is true of love marriages by people of the same or different nationalities.  Some relationships bring joy, some don’t.

Today, generally speaking women don’t need men anymore for financial reasons so obviously the structure and foundation for relationships that our grandparents or parents had is totally irrelevent.  It seems that the ‘business’ of marriage, so to speak, here in India is starting to evolve slowly to match the women’s equality movement but I’m guessing that evolution will not include a global acceptance of a foreigner and Indian sharing their life together anytime soon, will it?

With over 7 billion people on the planet, it is a very lucky few who find their soul mate or the perfect match for a lifetime of happiness in the next village over or right next door.  Sometimes it does take a journey half way around the world for a woman to find her Prince Charming.  Trust me on that one!  To the person who thinks white women are stealing Indian men: would it really be so bad to just be happy for those couples instead of protest and judge them?  Why surround yourself with hate when you can surround yourself with love?

XOXO Angela

© 2013  Angela Carson.  All rights reserved.  Do not reproduce any part of this article without the author’s permission.

Follow me

Angela Carson

At 21 I left uni, jumped into my Jeep Wrangler, and drove from my native California to live an adventure in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I've explored 32 countries on 4 continents, residing in 7 of them (currently Kuala Lumpur is my home). By day I'm a digital nomad and by night I'm a passionate storyteller. I even have a private pilot's license and was shot at once by bandits!
Follow me

34 Comments on “Bangalore News Flash! White Women Are Stealing Indian Men!

  1. Oh! loved it once again – especially the search part which says – “is it wrong for an indian girl to marry a blonde guy ?”

    and the part where you say – Sometimes it does take a journey half way around the world for a woman to find her Prince Charming !! It does !

  2. hello Angela, in fact i also like so much your most personal posts, or when you write about “big issues” like being a woman in India etc.. (more than brunches 😉
    Thank you for this new post. I share your point of view (i also so much “travelled” – not in the world, at first, but mostly “through the years”, as I am 42 – before I could meet a man and really start building a real relationship), and appreciate a lot the very end of your post too.

    One thought also came to me as I was reading this sentence “white women are taking our indian men” : with the growing number of males, compared to females, in India (due to birth control)… I very often think about what kind of future such actions prepare for the populations. I could imagine that in a very near future, Indian women could feel happy that some “white” women come and “take” some Indian men, and contribute to give some balance in genders in Indian society…

    • Nathalie, I love your insight into the gender gap. I hadn’t thought of that! Hope everyone will read down to your comment 🙂 Very sweet of you to leave such a gracious message. Hugs from Bangalore xo

  3. I am married to an american girl and I think it bout compatibility and understanding more thn color.

  4. Indians are the most racist people in the world.
    -Russel Peters
    You should’ve figured that out by now. 😉

    • Thats such a ridiculous comment. In my experiences at work I have never met a racist Indian, I’m sure there are some. But there are racists in every country and ethnicity. Singling out Indians is childish, and in your case probably a symptom of self hatred.

      • That may be a bit harsh, Andrew. Given that Vivek is quoting a standup comedian, I don’t think his remarks are to be taken literally. Of course, there is no way of, and not much sense in measuring and comparing degrees of racism among nationalities. It’s just that racisim manifests itself in subtler and very different ways from how it does in the west, and is often not recognized as such. I think that might have been what he may have been attempting to point out.

    • Hey babes! You commented 🙂  Wooo hoooo!  Thanks so much.  We need to catch up, been ages.  xoxoxo

  5. “Sometimes it does take a journey half way around the world for a woman to find her Prince Charming.”
    Damned straight!
    Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you!

  6. Where are all these foreign women – white, black, brown or magenta, and why are they not stealing me??? 🙂 (Light-hearted comment not meant to be taken seriously – difficult to convey tone over the internet)

  7. I’m a blond hair, blue eyed Southern California girl married to a man born and raised in Chennai (we met at volunteer event). Both his parents and mine had only one major concern – would the vast cultural differences we were bound to face prove to be too much of a challenge? I lived and worked in Bangalore and my husband has worked throughout the U.S. so we though it wouldn’t be a challenge. Wrong! Through a lot of hard work and recognition of the culture gap, we have been happily married for 9 years and have a beautiful son. For us, color was never an issue. Remembering/respecting the cultural differences continues to present learning opportunities for both of us.

    • Megan,

      I wanted to ask you, did you guys meet in Bangalore or U.S.A and what line of work were you in? Are there a lot of expats in Bangalore?

      • We met in the United States and both worked (and are still working) in the software/technology industry. We were friends for many months before we started dating so we knew about each other families and family expectations. I’d say, based on my personal experience, there are many American expats living and working in Bangalore.

        • So are u from San Jose or L.A?Do you have any friends that have blond hair,blue eyes looking for a nice guy,well educated and with an excellent physique?It’s so hard to meet people here.I spoke to white guys and girls here and they told me straight that 90% of girls here are racist,but won’t say.

          • A difficulty within India is the idea of women and men simply being “friends” – spending time together doing activities you both enjoy without the pressure of anything other than simply enjoying each others company. I can’t speak to levels of racism; only that “American culture” is very broad and means different things even within our own country. Los Angeles is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world and it is where I grew up. Everyone here is seemingly, originally, from somewhere else. If an American woman were from the state of Kansas or Florida – for example – you will find she might be as different from me as someone from Punjab will be from a Tamilian (even if we all looked the same). I’d suggest simply trying to be kind and friendly with a woman you find attractive without being overly aggressive about dating. Be patient, it helps. 🙂

          • Thanks Megan.
            I wanted to mention that I have been to Chennai and read Tamil fluently. I also know most people from Tamil Nadu here, but just have not mixed with them in the last 2 years, except in the Ganesh Temple, which is near my place. I have started to play Beach volleyball, slow pitch and am taking dancing lessons at the local University. You mentioned to be patient, but the girls are not willing to go even for coffee here, so what to do? I am not aggressive, but at times I only see a girl once that I find attractive. When I was taking classes, being in Human Resources, a female gender dominant course, I did not find anyone appealing. Only when I go to malls or on the street, I like them.

            I lived in El Segundo (near LAX) 6 years ago, so I know Los Angeles well, but due to recession, I had to come back to Edmonton, where I have lived since I was 3. I was born in Africa and am Gujrati. Which part of L.A do you reside in?

          • You’ve involved with activities you find interesting which is absolutely the best way to meet people you are likely to enjoy. Let’s be honest – no matter what the skin tone or culture, the initial physical beauty that first attracted you will only last for so long. “Beauty” can also be taken by an accident, illness, etc. If you are with someone based solely on her looks, your attraction, and therefore relationship, will be short-lived.

            We no longer live in LA, in part because of health issues and better job offers elsewhere. As my own personal example, let me tell you that I spent many, many weeks in and out of the hospital last year – at times I had four and five IVs in my hands and arms for days at a time. there were several middle of the night trips to the emergency room and our little boy, who kept looking to his father for reassure about my health. If my husband had chosen to marry me purely for my appearance, those extremely difficult months where I looked absolutely gruesome would have been the end of our marriage. I’m glad he chose my character, as well as my appearance, as the reason to be with me.

            Stick with the activities you enjoy doing – you never know when the right person will show up! 🙂

          • Thanks Megan, I hope it’s nothing serious with your health.Hope you feel better. Where do you live now, if not CA?

  8. Interesting to read. I think there are a few (or rather more than a few) who think that Indians are being “taken away” by white girls.
    Congratulations on being listed in the Directory of best Indian blogs of the year.

  9. Hi Angela,

    Inter-ethnic/racial/trans-national relations have been going on for a long time.

    My Indian female friends here in america hate the fact that I have a north american “gori” girlfriend and when she is around they go through great pains trying to be polite to her !!!! Of course, behind her back they tend to be catty, mean, gossipy beldam exactly what you have been experiencing in Bangalore!

    Indians have this weird ownership claim to anything Indian, really and feel that they are always right and foreigners are undeniably wrong about everything!?

    You should not be embarrassed to proudly display your indian guy in public in India and demand that he proudly introduce you to his friends and relatives as your partner.

    Here is a fascinating , just developing story about Prince William’s Indian roots !

    A fantastic new developing story. I am sure there is a great story behind this something that you may want to write about.

    Prince William according to recent genetic studies is part-Indian. He is the direct descendent of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Eliza Kewark who was part Indian, part Armenian , based in Surat, India. She married a British merchant with the East India company, Theodore Forbes. Theodore Forbes is Princess Diane’s direct grand father , 7 generations ago.

    Willie’s grandma, The queen is probably saying to herself,

    “Oh bloody hell, the future king , my grandson is an impure Indian darkie, coloured wog! Where did I go wrong?”.

    Haha!

    If William is denied the throne because of this new developing story, OMG he is an Indian darkie(!) maybe he can open a curry house in England and call it Willie the Wog’s curry house ! Haha!

    OR OR OR now that Willie realizes he has Indian genes he could wildly cheer the Indian cricket team as it thrashes England in the champion’s trophy going on now !

    More on this here

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2342005/Prince-William-actually-Indian–distant-cousin-knew-family-secret-along.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

    and here

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/uk/Hunt-on-for-Prince-Williams-distant-cousins-in-Surat/articleshow/20611810.cms

    This should be Mira Nair’s or Deepa Mehta’s next movie about the British Raj and the inter-racial , hush-hush hanky-panky that went on behind closed doors!

    Sweet dreams,
    Hope you are having lots of fun

    • The society of india is family/religious centric. this is good in one way but in current times it has put generations in cross roads where they have themselves to find out. most of them donot and are lost. this holds good to every indian. india is in process of getting matured to the exposure it has seen in a decade. over time it will be a better place with new thinking and obviously with people providing directions.
      Nation is not built overnight but over generations.

  10. Im a 31 year old women with a very good job and yes im white and my partner is indian we are expecting our first child in afew weeks. Love has nothing to do with colour, race, religon ect. I love my partner more than anything and respect him and his family, just like i know they respect me and my family. Everyone makes there own choices in life and as you only live once life is too short, if you are lucky to find that soul mate then no matter what there race, religon, colour you should grab it with both arms and hold on tight to it…… noone should be judged by the colour of there skin or religon.

  11. Indian men don’t actually have much of a chance with women of any race.
    Best bets for an Indian man:
    1. Fleshlight
    2. Depo Provera
    3. Explore the alternatives with another Indian man

  12. hi angelina …….. i want to know that do white girls really like indian peoples especially brown guys. if your answer is yes please tel em more about it. Because i really love white peoples especially female ones their culture , mode of lifestyle etc………

  13. Hi Angelina,

    I don’t think white girls are taking Indian me,but it may happen by coincidence.I personally like white girls,being brought up in North America and am interested in having a loving life partner that is Caucasian.Reality is it will happen, if it’s meant to be and I have no issues with my family not accepting because I have relatives who have married white girls already.I can say that in the part I live in, you don’t see too much interracial because most stick to their own clan.I noticed from this year 2013, as have many, that it’s changing now and woman are starting to accept brown guys.

    • “… woman are starting to accept brown guys.”
      Or maybe… brown guys are starting to introduce their white love to their family and have the will to face the future, indian traditions and (more than) possible disapproval of such mixed relationship ?! 🙂

  14. I don’t think white women are stealing Indian. Men. If Indian
    Men actually really do like them then that’s their situation. I am not Indian but I know whites are extremely jealous of Indian women and want to take away what happiness or perceived lweslth even that hey think hear loosely Indian ladies. Have

  15. Stealing!! lol, with a population of over a billion ppl, roughly 500million plus men,negligible no of white women in India, among whom the majority are with white men and, and among the rest many have an intense dislike for Indian men. Are you seriously kidding me? Its a well known fact that Indian men are at the bottom of the preference pool for an overwhelming majority of white women across the world. Why else did you see those search results and posts from Indian men showing absolute Beta charactaristics, desperation and obsession towards white women. Indian men are hardly getting any attention from White women to be considered worth stealing. There are exceptions to the rule, but thats like a needle in a stadium full of haystack.

    • What you said is absolutely true, but the reasons are ignorance. Just because some Indian men stink like curry or their homes stink like that, does not mean every Indian guy is the same. I am more into hygiene and cleanliness than even white people. I’ve been to their (white)homes and I am sorry to say this, but it’s been more messy there and sometimes a different type of odor. It does not mean I will stereotype and say all whites smell like bacon or beef.

  16. Hi and thank you for this!

    I am from Scandinavia and have an Indian boyfriend, so I can relate to what you write here. We are sadly not able to see each other frequently (strict rules for him to visit my country, and me not strong financially currently), but I had an opportunity to go there this summer. It is the first time I have been there, and we got STARED at. Mostly by women, looking judgemental. It doesn’t help it either that I not just white – I am white as snow. And we are both very tall. We were also often met with people believing that he was my tourist guide … even at some point when being out buying groceries together.

    Thankfully his family is very supportive, but what you write here indicates that what I suspected might be the explanation … thank you for this.

    • Hi Katherine, thanks for taking the time to comment and share your tale. Glad you are finding his family to be supportive, that’s wonderful! -angela

  17. Hi Angela.

    With the skewered sex ratio in India, I would be more worried if White guys steal Indian women.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *