So Tired Of Being GROPED By Indian Men

Every time that a man thinks he can touch me without permission, for his amusement, for “fun” … it astounds me.  First, I wonder what kind of depraved LOSER is the guy that needs to cop a feel of my body to get his jollies.  Honestly!  What is it with some Indian men?  It’s as if they are animals with no self-control, no education and certainly no respect for women!!! 

Last night I was at a much anticipated party at Ice at Taj MG Road in Bangalore.  It was relatively early and I had my video cam and was taking shots of the crowd on the dance floor when it happened.  Some low class man (because what REAL man with any class would stoop so low?)  passed by and decided that it was his right to touch me.  While I was “working” and shooting scenes of the happy crowd this JERK passed by me and with one hand fondled my right breast and just kept on walking.  When I turned to see who it was he was the only man in the vicinity and he had just picked up his pace and was JAMMING away from where I was at full speed.

I learned back in Frazer Town in 2011 how to deal with men like him when I was groped for the first time.  The ladies who came to my aid on the street that day and the commenters on my blog post about the incident taught me what to do.  I had to almost RUN to catch up with the loser – cuz he was literally almost running away from where I was – but I caught up with him.  I had to grab his shirt collar to stop him but I got him.  And when he turned he seemed surprised, and then I hit him.  He sort of looked less surprised but maybe more embarrassed at that.  And then I asked him what the hell he was doing touching me and his blank stare won a birdie from me – I flipped him off and the guy just stood there and kept on looking.  Along with about 20 other people and two security guards who saw what was going down and came to ask me what had happened.  I told them he had touched me and security went after him.

I’ve travelled to 24 countries and never in my life have I experienced or heard so many stories about groping.  None of these other countries have special areas on the trains or buses to help protect women because they aren’t needed.  What I don’t get is WHY some Indian men do this?  Is dominating women, making us feel disrespected and like a piece of meat a turn on?  Is a one second grab of someone’s mother, daughter, wife or sister really enough to get someone’s motor running?  Is it simply because they CAN?  And if molesting us in public at a 5 star hotel is exciting … then what’s the next step?  Because although the act of groping is relatively mild, it still ends with a woman becoming a victim and a man who is her attacker.  Is a groper the first step down a seedier path?  Is that where a rapist starts his journey sometimes?  When the thrill of violating a woman with a touch doesn’t satiate a man anymore then is that the next step?

Any depraved man who violates a woman’s body in any way or makes her feel unsafe for even a single minute deserves more than a slap.  Period. 

XOXO Angela

© 2012 Angela Carson and Angela’s Bangalore

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Angela Carson

At 21 I left uni, jumped into my Jeep Wrangler, and drove from my native California to live an adventure in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I've explored 32 countries on 4 continents, residing in 7 of them (currently Kuala Lumpur is my home). By day I'm a digital nomad and by night I'm a passionate storyteller. I even have a private pilot's license and was shot at once by bandits!
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57 Comments on “So Tired Of Being GROPED By Indian Men

  1. Good on you Angela, The next time you take out your shoe and give it to him on his face leave a scar so that will be a reminder that he should not touch woman in the future. If only more women did this then the men would be afraid in my opinion its these low skunks that get away because the woman are intimidated hope there are more Angela’s to teach these guys or give them what they deserve. This guy should be banned from entering the Taj again. You take care darling. We love you. Ciao, Keith

  2. May I know, what those security people did with him. At least make sure, he should be slapped with a police case.

    • To be honest, I didn’t follow them to find out, I returned to my friends. Wasn’t going to let that guy steal any more of my night…

  3. Listen here, lady!, first, the indian woman doent give what the guys badly needs – a good sex life. in most of the developed world you talk about – most of the people have a good sex life. so only the loosers are left out. in india its 1% of the guys who actually get it. the rest are left out.so, first again , its you who made the physical contact (don’t confuse with groping) , yes – even the just simple physical contact! – a big deal. yeah??
    note -“you” is the typical indian woman.

    • flint – do you even realise how much of an idiot you seem like?

    • Flint?
      If you spent more time dating and less in your hare brained opinions of “Indian guys who are getting some”, maybe you wont be one of the losers (1 o by the way)
      Enjoy NYE with your hand you wanker.

    • Are you for real? There is nothing about you that makes sense. No matter what happens, no man has the right to touch another person, especially a woman. Nothing, I repeat, nothing justifies groping.

        • haha okay!  That makes sense!  I was trying to sort out that take on my article but now it makes sense.  Yes, Flint.  He’s not happy with my comment about his comment either, told me we’ve misunderstood it.  Anyway, I’m with you …. no matter what, there’s no excuse!  Thanks for taking the time to chime in here 🙂 -angela

  4. Hello hello to everybody, and happy Christmas in Bangalore, Angela !
    i would like to say, after five months spent in Rajasthan and a trip in South India, that i really saw how young men (and probably women) lack contacts, flirts, sensual and sexual experiences in India, because of the culture and religion. I was wondering what the future would be, when there would be not enough women for the high number of men (because of abortions). How will India avoid more violence against women ? I also saw, everyday, the behavior of all the young men, yet not married, and when they get married, how young their wives could be – very young and innocent ! (i am not talking about children or teenagers being married). They so much look on porn movies, try to catch girls and foreigners…
    Yet, i felt so well and happy there ! And i don’t specially like the occidental way, about relations and sex. But mostly i am happy to be free to choose my own way, and to be free of having any relation or sex relation with the men i choose – and never worry about what all my neighbors could think about it !
    In a word, i think it is one of the reasons why some indian men behave that way. So i also think that a good sex life is very important ! and freedom, mostly (because we don’t have such good sex lives in europe, but at least we can try).
    And i find what happened to you, Angela, and to indian women everyday, really disgusting and intolerable !

  5. i think use of tasers should be promoted. anytime an idiot tries to grop just give him 1000 volts shock so that the next time he even thinks about doing such a thing , he should at least think a 1000 times more before even doing it. don’t know why some men shame all of the humanity. and very good response mam. i would say next time just tase the jerk.

      • They are not legalized yet in India. you would be in trouble if a cop finds out you used one. you could have pepper spray.
        It is a shame on us ( Indians ) you are looking for something like this.

  6. @Balaji T Vijayan – first half of Nathalie’s comments should clear your questions.
    living in denial is unfortunately not an option 🙂

  7. My wife used to carry pepper spray in her purse for just that reason.

    • Actually I did that in southern California when I was 20 or 21, and when I lived in Mexico. Fun stuff 🙂

  8. I commend you for going after him! I have been to the same bar over half a dozen times. I have seen these men and their glares and even seen a couple of them overstep their bounds. I am appalled at the audacity of this loser! I wish I could have witnessed you slapping him. Good for you! I have an experience to share, mostly because I wish I had slapped this guy too, but also because it is important to highlight the fact that these creeps exist, even in beloved India. There’s no excuse for it and women need to stand up for themselves!!!

    I was staying near to N S Palya BG road. There is an English Medium school nearby. I was talking to some of the students when a Father had arrived by rickshaw to pick his up. He asked if they could take a snap with me. I happily agreed. After snap was taken with the kids, it was his “turn.” This man grabbed me and planted a big kiss on my cheek while the driver snapped the picture. If those kids hadn’t have been standing right there, I would’ve slapped the creep. Instead I shouted at him and walked off.
    Thank you again, Angela for posting about this and for having the courage to go after the jerk. These situations are real and when women speak up, it brings awareness and a strong will to enforce change.

    • Mr photo was a CREEP. I walked up to a group of friends at the recent Heineken party in Cubbon Park and said hi to everyone, 2-kissing a couple of them and nodding and shaking hands to the rest and some acquaintance of my friend put an arm around me and kissed me. I pushed him away and he just laughed. I just wish these guys could witness someone doing this to their daughter or sister to understand just how wrong it is 🙁 Thanks so much for adding your experience here and for your kind words xoxo

  9. Angela, good for you and more power to you! You and anyone else who reads this post should know that the Justice Verma Committee which has been set up to review all laws for speedier justice and enhanced punishment in cases of aggravated sexual assault is inviting suggestions from all.
    We contact him at: justice.verma@nic.in

    • Thanks so much, and for the email ID.  I’m writing an article about rape and will try to include it.

  10. Firstly, let me begin by saying any forcible act should not be condoned in civilized society.
    Having said that I want to explore the immorality behind it. If an act is immoral then even the thought of it should be immoral. If the thought or fantasy of it is condoned then the actual action becomes just illegal instead of being immoral.
    According to a number of surveys/statistics one of the top three fantasies of women is for them to be taken and ravished by hot man forcibly and roughly. If you want to debate this, I would not vouch for it. This is what I have been led to believe. Now, if this is true how does one reconcile this with the actual act of a grouper. Sure, it is illegal and breaks societies code and law but is is immoral when the fantasy itself is so prominent in the opposite sex ?
    Another food for thought, if many a folks men and women have such thoughts and fantasies but only a few due to lack of self control actually do it. Is it not immoral just to have the thought ? The act itself just breaks the bound of legality but thought breaks the bond of morality of the soul.

    • What the $%#@+ ??? No man has any right to touch me without my consent. Period. That’s the topic. Not your inability to distinguish fantasy in the bedroom from sexual assault or criminal violent behaviour.

  11. In Mexico City women ride in a crowded women-only subway wagon during morning rush hour. During rush hour, a third of the subway wagons are reserved for women and children only, to help women avoid groping and sexual harassment. This should be enforced all over the world, including Japan and India.

    • Such a pity it is so dangerous still for women in Mexico. I took the train and the metro back and forth to work every day for 7 years in Barcelona and never once was touched inappropriately or stared at by men or ever felt uncomfortable. I wish Indian girls and women could know what that feels like — and you too 🙂

      • Kudos to you Angela. Bombay too has a ‘Ladies Special’ train. However, it is sad that we have to have a ‘Ladies Special’ train and that is difficult for women to travel in the same train carriage as men without being touched indecently.

        I have lived in Melbourne, Australia for a while now and haven’t seen this kind of behaviour here. Am sure though that might be some jerks here that do it as well. Having said that I would not worry so much about a female being groped here.

  12. Any depraved man who violates a woman’s body in any way or makes her feel unsafe for even a single minute deserves more than a slap. Period.
    So true!

  13. may be due to lack of love that they got but we indians except some assholes are really good

    • Lack of love… that was seriously tough to just read that …. how can you think that?   🙁  It is pure  lack of CLASS and certainly a lack of education on how to respect women.  I do agree with you that “except some assholes” that men in India are generally lovely.  –Angela

  14. be interactive to a man never he will get any idea of doing harm to you
    I personally” love women’s heart” because i was born to a women not an animal
    but hate women’s brain which thinks “beware of men “.we are also humans. we love u all
    “please take positively”

  15. i love india
    mera bharath mahan.
    brothers let us respect and love each and every person.jaihind

  16. i am confused i dont now how to react to ur statement

  17. Its sick and sad part is it might happen again.
    Think about appropriate response.
    Along with pepper spray pls consider Electric shock flexible baton or mobile styled high voltage stun guns. They are also manufactured in Bangalore. Just google for it. If used for self-protection it is legal. Electric shock in nuts and pepper spray would be fitting response 🙂
    Take Care…

  18. I can totally relate to this as I have had bad experiences myself. We as Indians think that the roads, and highways and bridges is development. But the truth is its our mindsets which needs to be changed and also the Indians need to get rid of the abundant patience they have towards harassers and the men who are degrading India as a country. I wish the people who were there in the party also took some step than being mere spectators. Its a shame. I come from a smaller city from north India and the funny part is I consider Bangalore 10 thousand times better. Its good you are not in Delhi, it might be the capital of the country but its even worse than Bangalore. 🙁
    I am not yet proud to be an Indian.
    I hope I can change that
    I feel sorry for your experience and I came across your blog today itself and its kind of obvious why you would have started it.
    To spread awareness 😛
    take care

    • Hi, actually I started the blog the first day I moved to India to keep my family and friends in the loop on what was going on in my life and what it was like being here.  Thanks for taking the time to comment…. -angela

      • I am sorry i dint mean to be rude :(.. I just have too much anger because I went through similar experiences with my girlfriend who is a foreigner and we decided it was better for her to stay in her own country than in India. She came here to study and its not like we had too much money and how my parents reacted and everything, it just changed everything about me and the way I see India now. I wish I found your blog back then it would have helped her , I showed it to her though 😛 . You are really good and its never boring to read your blogs. I wish you all the happiness and good times and a good stay in Bangalore.

  19. Ashish, the mindset you refer to is not local to India — it’s exported to places like Silicon Valley. I ran into it recently, from an Indian-American guy who was born and raised in an affluent big city in Texas — and an educated, proud Kerala Christian at that!! He was nothing short of an aggressive chimp in heat. I actually considered dialing 911 on my cellphone before I managed to escape.
    It happened last month in lovely Palo Alto, and I am still in shock at his outrageous behavior. In many places in North America, aggressive unwanted touching is considered “assault and battery” by law enforcement, as it should be.

  20. Actually, why does it have to be Indian men? In fact, why does any man grope? I am not saying this just because of the fact that I belong in India. I would have raised the same question if it was any other race.
    The problem does not lie with INDIAN MEN groping, the real problem lies with ANY MAN. So, it was a bit racist on your behalf. I guess, that’s the men’s nature or perverted. Some men tend to be perverted, whether they are Indians or even Koala Bears. So the certain people’s perverted behavior does not apply to their whole race.

    • Sorry, did you read the article? It actually talks about how in YEARS and YEARS and YEARS in many other countries that I was never groped even once, not even on a crowded train or bus or queue at a bar, etc… please do read the article. Thanks, Angela

  21. Groping is an assault. Point is, if you are serious about it, you should have reported it to the cops rather than post it on a blog which appears to have business angle or at least a major effort to increase readership. FYI, majority of Indian men are concerned about it and curbing it.

    • I hit him, I flipped him off … I did what I wanted.  Next time you are groped, you do what you want 🙂  As for me, I wanted time with my friends, not a trip to the police station at 10pm.  It made much more FUN blog material that a waste of my night would have given me.  -angela  {p.s.  every blogger wants more readers, trust me … I’m not special there.  And India thru expat eyes offers up a lot of content to do just that.  You found my blog, what were your search terms in Google? 🙂

      • U did the right thing angela.
        Feel sorry for these narrowminded indians
        Hit and bash them up in future to free such persons from india

  22. i am sorry on his behalf as an indian….unwarranted advances are a matter of shame in my opinion.

  23. the reason i feel is that indian women ask for it.infact if you see our stupid bollywood movies, you will see how the girls are waiting to fall on some guy.some of the dances are so raunchy,the girls gyrating on the guys.it looks so stupid and this behaviour rubs on the everyday guys.they think that women or girls who are beautiful and with a modern outlook are waiting to be seduced by them. So, they harass women and especially if you are a westerner they think the woman will most probably be a hippie or fun loving type who wont mind a grope here or there.

  24. Geez I feel ya ! I was bloody 15 when that happened to me . I couldn’t do anything bout it then cuz my brain just blanked out. I was thinking wtf ?? is this fucker actually doing this ? Geez . second time it happened I was able to give that jerk a good measure of pain . I hate assholes like that n I don’t get them either . u handled it well . I seriously wish some of the Indian men would grow up …anyway I enjoyed reading bout all your adventures . 🙂

    • Ufff, 15 is young (sadly not as young as many girls though, I know). Sorry to hear that. And thanks for your kind words 🙂 -angela

  25. So sorry to hear that you were treated like this!! I guess these bastards think that it makes them smart to grope and not get caught-though in your case he was caught!
    If someone says indian men dont get sex, so they r frustrated, I cant take that!! Nothing justifies this sort of behaviour!! If you are a MAN you should know how to treat a girl and if you want sex so badly then you should try to get a consensual one night stand!!
    And if you cant even do that, go to the prostitute, its better than groping like a piece of rotten coward!
    Not sure if anybody would agree but thats what I think!

    • Indeed. A lot needs to change in India with respect to women’s rights, women’s equality and improvement in the basic treatment of women. Til then some men will do as they wish, believing it to be okay and within their rights. –Ange

  26. hey brave lady
    you did with him he dsrv

    but i wna say that.. india is the country which respect women most of other countries does.
    we havnt just god but also godess..

    our culture is based on matrasattak (mothers empire)
    but now days wat happening is all coz of curreption..which mskes imbalance in indians eg. eco., edu.

    so here is two society living at a time with larg differnce
    one is thinking how i spend my money for joy..
    & other is think how i get the money for basic needs.

    it nt means i supprt guy like him or incident happend with…
    i just wan to show one more angle.

  27. I am an Indian man and I, like most other men, have been brought up to be respectful to women. Some men do this shit and whole world looks down upon all of us. I swear to god if I see anyone doing it in front of me, I would break his jaw, just to try to redeem the majority of Indian men who are not disrespectful.

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