I’ve Already Lived the Best Years of My Life … Now What?

Ageing is a serious bummer, and a funny twist of fate. I am 46 but in my heart and my day-to-day self, I still feel mid 30s at best. I bounce when music comes on. I see triggers that remind me of my younger days and think …. ‘ahhhh if only!’. All the time!!!

When I was in my 20s I remember wanting to be perceived as grown up and mature. 

My daughter is 21 now and worldlier than I was at her age on every single level. In part because she grey up hyper-multicultural in San Diego, Barcelona, and then Bangalore, India, and in small part to our past and her current global travel adventures across Africa, Europe, Asia and America. But even she doesn’t seem to want to be associated to something perceived as really young, so I know that mentality is still alive and well and exists no matter who and where we are.

Yet, when it comes down to it, the fun we remember is often the fun we had when we were kids. Or with our friends later on in uni. Or while travelling.

Or – like me – the funnest consecutive years of my life were during my 30s, living on the beach just south of Barcelona, Spain.

I lived around the corner (or just a short train ride) from literally ALL of my BFFs at the time and it was glorious. I didn’t know at the time it was the best time of my life but for me, and pretty much every mate who was there, we all agree. It’s 100% likely that we will never again experience anything similar. We truly, absolutely, lived the best time of our lives together.  And the sad part is that we know it’s true.  Not that we aren’t happy now or won’t be blissfully happy in the future but still…

As for me, as I grow older, I still crave that unfiltered fun. Dancing ‘til sunrise, afternoons full of vino and laughs on the beach, and the feeling that I was always just an arms-reach from someone I adored. I don’t have that anymore. None of it. And that’s okay … and it’s also sad.

We all lived those times to the maximum and if I had to guess I would say that none of us has regrets. And that’s 100% the best part of all this because most people can NOT say that about YEARS of their life.  We’ve all grown up a bit, which we should do. We’re all much less wild, which we should be. Yet at the core of each of us, I still see that *spark* and it makes me smile.

This (rambling and random) post was inspired by 2 dear friends who lived above me during that time in Spain. They were on holiday in Puerto Rico last week and posted pics of this fab little bear they had bought on a past trip to New York who sneaks in to photobomb them from time to time. His name is Pololo and he had a smack-down with an iguana and it was hilarious, see below.

And while Pololo’s bravado is to be commended, it is my dear friends’ resistance to growing up and no longer acting like kids that I love the most in this … because they are still finding a thrill in being naughty and having fun in their adventures, and it makes my heart sing.

Live long and prosper, Pololo!  And the kid inside all of us.

XOXO Angela

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Angela Carson

At 21 I left uni, jumped into my Jeep Wrangler, and drove from my native California to live an adventure in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I've explored 32 countries on 4 continents, residing in 7 of them (currently Kuala Lumpur is my home). By day I'm a digital nomad and by night I'm a passionate storyteller. I even have a private pilot's license and was shot at once by bandits!
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