Until now all of the hate mail I have received has come from angry brides-to-be who fall upon my first Indian wedding experience blog post. Unfortunately these gals had typed in “Sanskruti Silks” or “wedding shoes” or any other combination of words like that and ended up reading my blog post. They were pissed off because they believed I was disrespecting this special day and tradition and called me all sorts of fun names like bitch and other much worse names (ouch!). Though my all-time favourite insult was the woman who told me she hoped my ex-husband used to beat me. Haha! What a B*! They stung a bit at first but it didn’t last long. As many times as I’ve re-read that particular blog post I just don’t read anything that I wrote which disrespected the Indian culture or the tradition. I poke fun at me and try to describe the wedding scene using my voice, which is typically laden with humour. These women were just in a different frame of mind and took offense. And I’m sorry but no one would read my blog if it was all sunshine, rainbows and dryly stated facts. Where is the adventure and fun in that?
Yesterday I received my first hate mail in two or three months, sent after someone read my Sunday Brunch @ Love Shack post:
“You people are everything that’s wrong with humanity…shallow, fickle, vain, and completely irrelevant to the grand scheme of things. Your little jaunts and grandiose self importance is worth SHIT. hope barcelona keeps you.”
The person who sent it didn’t leave a real email address or name, so they didn’t want to open a conversation with me. In my opinion, it’s not the most eloquent of letters or comments and certainly not well articulated. Trust me, I’ve had some readers share strong opinions (like Aunty Jee) but they were well thought out and she is open to back-and-forth conversation when it’s a hot topic. Comments CAN turn into engaging debates. However, this person pretty much just wanted to tell me that people like me who enjoy drinking and dancing are everything that is wrong with this world. Hmm… really?
Taking aside the fact that I don’t think I am what is wrong with society (I think my Mom did a pretty good job with me, thank you!), I’ve never understood those people who think they know someone enough to make those kind of blanket statements … when they’ve never even met. Over the years, I’ve sat on the board of directors for a children’s charity, volunteered in various countries, have fun working my ass off for the past 15 years in PR and marketing for high-tech start-ups, have raised (financially) my daughter almost single-handedly and … I think I’m a very kind person to everyone I meet (okay, not that groper in Frazer Town!). I’m not perfect but who is?
Personally, I think it’s much more appropriate to be diplomatic when dealing with people – or in this case summing them up in 3 sentences. Life is WAY too full of variables and circumstances…and people are way to complex. As our green friend Shrek says, we are full of layers like an onion! People who seems like a menace to society at first glance (apparently like me and my friends) could be truly lovely people who contributes to society. The same is true for some who seems wonderful and saintly on the outside…they might be that true menace to their family or society.
Maybe I would have accepted the comment if they had said “partying on a Sunday is everything that’s wrong with humanity” or something along those lines. But come on!
I started the blog when I moved to Bangalore so that my Mom, my daughter (who had stayed behind to finish out the school term) and my friends in Europe and the U.S. could follow along and experience this new adventure with me. Little by little the blog stopped being read by just my family and friends. I’m really so humbled to have people all around the world, and particularly here in India, reading it pretty regularly – especially given how many expat blogs there are here in India!
It’s normal that I won’t be everyone’s ‘cup of tea’ so I think I need to thicken up my skin quick. Because at 40, I certainly don’t see myself changing my style, my tastes or my character anytime soon.
© Angela Carson, 2011